Next

When I first settled on the title for this blog post, I didn't have the following thought progression in mind, but stick with me for a minute here.

Do y'all remember the show Next?

If you've seen Next and forgotten about it since the reality-TV heyday that was 2005-2008, shame on you. If you haven't seen Next, I'm sorry that your life is so sad. The premise is as follows. A lady or gentleman is set up by the MTV powers that be with five potential dates. Every single one is a certified freak show.

Honestly, Kyle? Same. 

The daters are all contained in a bus (whose idea was this series?) and they come off the bus one by one to try their hand at wooing the lady or gentleman in question. The person being courted by the five bus-dwellers could, at any point, yell out "NEXT!" and send the person back to their sad bus alone. 

This is an apt metaphor for my dating life, given that no man on earth could live up to my impossibly high standards and I essentially want to scream "NEXT!" at everyone I ever meet. 

At the moment, however, I'm using it in a different context, so here comes the MTV metaphor you never knew you needed. 

I Nexted Ireland. I gave it a shot, we had a good run, and at the end of my designated year, I decided our time had come and I was going to head back to the U.S. with no new job lined up and no clue what polo-shirt-wearing wonder was about to hop off the Next bus. 

What fell into my lap was Denver, Colorado. Just four days after landing back in the U.S. of A., I found out I had gotten the internship I applied for at 5280, and they wanted me to start in two weeks. So I went. I found a roommate on Craigslist, packed my trusty Ford Focus with an assortment of my belongings, and, after a handful of days at home, drove across the country to start my Stateside post-grad career in a state I knew pretty much nothing about. 

Denver's not too bad. I systematically hate both beer and the outdoors and am neutral on both dogs and legal marijuana, which means I have pretty much nothing in common with the average Coloradan. It turns out to be a cool city, though, with exciting things like vegan chocolate Oreo ice cream down the block from my office (hello, fittest state in the Union) and the entire principal cast of If/Then reuniting here in town for the first leg of their national tour. Yes, that means both Idina Menzel and Anthony Rapp. Yes, I have a ticket. Yes, it is a solo ticket and I plan on going alone and weeping throughout the performance. Yes, that's going to be the best night of my life. 

It also isn't half bad to have views like this from the roof of your apartment building. 

I miss Dublin, far more than I thought I would. I miss living on Merrion Square and making jokes about craic and sweet, sweet Lord, I miss San Lorenzo. If I'd known how much I would miss Dublin, I may very well not have yelled "next." 

But, in a way, I'm glad I did. When this internship ends, it'll almost certainly be on to a new city. Maybe I'll go back to Ireland. Maybe it'll be Singapore. Maybe it'll be Portland, or Cleveland, or Durban or Dallas or Des Moines. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm excited to find out. 

For my next order of business, I'll probably go to bed. Go to buy shampoo. Go to work for a few months. I'm looking forward to a great time on this six-month blind date I'm on with Colorado, but I'm not settling down any time soon. 

I've got a question and a challenge for you, Great MTV Producer in the Sky. Bring it on. What's next?